The twelve days of Christmas, as interpreted by one burnt out mother

Oh, how kind. Santa brought CVS' entire stock to our house!













On the twelfth day of Christmas, the stinking, no-good, ROTTEN GRINCH gave to me:

Twelve nighttime cryings

Eleven messy diapers

Ten (x100) dollars spent on the Mazda

Nine Mazda stall outs

Eight uneaten bowls of baby oatmeal

Seven bouts of throw up

Six hours of work missed (I only work 8 a week)

Five mLs of amoxicillin (for May’s ear infection)

Four nose aspirations for congestion

Three .75mLs/6 hours of children’s Tylenol

Two .5mLs of Zofran to battle nausea

and a drop/6 hours of gentamicin for pink eye (that mommy acquired from one of the three visits to the pediatrician)

May, I've stolen your health and I'm keeping it all for myself.










Yep. That sums up the week pretty accurately. Although it’s been pretty gloomy around here, I’m trying to NOT be a cotton-headed ninny muggins about the misfortune that has befallen the Shean household by remembering that things could be a lot worse. May could have been seriously ill. The Mazda could be permanently broken down. My pink eye could have been in both eyes!

Buddy the Elf is an inspiration.












These last few days have been rough, but I’m taking a page out of Charlie Brown’s book and will attempt to do a Christmas reboot. I even purchased a Charlie Brown Christmas tree this morning to help me get started. This little tree will serve to remind us that when the going gets tough, PUT ALL THE HATERS OUT OF YOUR MIND AND DO YOUR OWN THING. And by haters, I’m taking to the stomach flu virus, the infectious strain of bacteria that infected May’s ear and the bacteria that is sitting on my eyeball like it’s Occupy Wall Street. It’s time to pack up and move out. You and your misery are no longer welcomed!

Don't look at my tree like that. My tree be FABULOUS.


7 thoughts on “The twelve days of Christmas, as interpreted by one burnt out mother

  1. […] The twelve days of Christmas, as interpreted by one burnt out mother ( Share this:EmailPrintDiggFacebookRedditStumbleUponTwitterLike this:LikeBe the first to like this post. […]

  2. Erin says:

    I am laughing myself silly and then feeling guilty because I know it not funny for you. Oh, how we mothers remember those days! Now, you are truly a honest to goodness, real life,
    devoted to the bitter end, MOM! Congratulations, you are in the club. By the way, I love the tree. Love, Aunt Erin

    • Oh, please DON’T feel guilty. If I were sensitive about our plight I wouldn’t have poked fun at it myself! It’s been quite a ride around here, but May seems to be on the mend. I love the Charlie Brown Christmas tree too! We have a real (fake) one in our dining room, but May’s room was feeling unfestive so I thought she could use a little bit of Charlie Brown to spruce things up!

  3. yaya says:

    It could be worse – you could have twins or triplets!

    Hang in there,


  4. lolo says:

    It’s just the unbroken chain. I remember your mom having the same type of Christmas once long ago.

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